DEMU FEELZZ YO (sad story extremely explicit)

                                       "April showers bring May flower"

Hello Friends.I hope your day is well and beautiful.

Today,I would like to share a few thing with you guys about how I felt about the first and now entering two month of 2015.To be exact,I have no sort of desire to write anything but you know the heart wants what it wants.

Lately,I'm feeling kind of lost eventhough I always believe that I'm on track and organized since I renewed my new year's resolution.Whenever I try to make a better living,my hardest is not hard enough.YEh,most of the time i won't be bothered by it but then i keep telling myself "yo fit u can do better than just glazing around" or "getcho ass up fit there's plenty of adventurous things to do go out in the sunshine and eat those vitamin C".AND folks,my probs just don't end here,i got school and itsa pain in the freaking ass i tell ya.

YES SCHOOL.TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO HANDLE.I.JUST.Don't get me wrong I like going to school now that I've realized staying at home doin nothin ain't that fun.The thing is I have this sort of anxiety over myself at school.I have this kind of habit when i see reflection of myself on the windows/mirror/cars/u name it anything that reflects,I'll start thinking "Is this THE best smile i have","do i smiled/looked like this","dear god,why *as i stare deeply into my reflection's face*".Long story short I'm having a slightly low-self esteem.Even so it happens randomly.

One probs comes after another.Classes nowdays is just not my cup of tea.I guess it was suppose to be fun but beggars can't be choosers.After all,going to a MAJORITY chinese school isn't that easy (unless u can talk like them).Guys,you know how people r so DAMN NICE 2 u and then they just go get-the-hell-outta-my-face at u (i'm not the only victim this still happens and i approve this message).YEhz people change,so i don't give a shite.I can see it in ur face u don't need me there so ok i won't try to please u.I don't live to please anyone other than my fams and god lah ok.Oh did i mention bout two-faces people/racist people ? Don't get me started yo.

You see,there's just so many things going through this little head of mine.My acne is pulling a leg on me oh gosh what a joke,procrastination is at it's critical stage yet can still be cured(kinda like a life-cycle) and I myself will be sitting for spm this year,my last year in school yes I might as well do my best to achieve an outstanding(if not an okay-ish)results.They say the last year will be a magical year.However,my plans often didn't go according plan.Maybe it's me or God is just trying to test me.Well,beats me.The only thing I can do is pray 4 da best and tawakal.

For my upcoming birthday(tomorrow)as well as Chinese New Year,I would like to wish u all prosperity and good fortune.May all the hustle and struggle we went through paid off and bring amazing outcome !  GONG XI FA CAI WO DE PENGYOUZZ !


syok lah dia punya hari jadi woHOOoOo *nyanyi lagu Allah selamatkan kamu pada diriku sendiri*